I'm back

Well, it's been well over a year since I've updated, but here I am. I know since the whole MySpace revolution nobody really uses this anymore, but it's a start until I can make my own MySpace.

A year long update, a month after my last post, I got on board the 13th MEU, I deployed with them to Iraq in April of 2007. I get back from that deployment in just a couple of days. Kayleigh and I ended our relationship just shy of 2 years. Shocking, I know. But we are still good friends. I know of no better friend than her.

So, yeah, a quick down and dirty of the past year. That was pretty much it. Any details, you can ask. I'll try and keep up with this if people respond. At least until  I understand and start myspacing more often.

Cheerio

Im hungry. I want food.

ummmmmm. Live with Passion

lol. this picture was taken almost a year ago. wow.

I love you Kayleigh

A world of nothing

I am not in the best of moods. I don't feel like rewriting anything, so Im just gonna post what I blogged on MySpace...

Why can't I make it work anymore. Why can't I just be the person I want to be? What the HELL is blocking me? Is it so wrong that there're things I want? Things I need? How come I can't have God in my life no matter how hard I try? How come I can't have love in my life no matter what I've done to acheive it? I've worked so hard to have what little I have, and in a days time, a lifetime was torn apart.

I read scripture, but it doesn't sink in. I pray, but it fels like I'm talking to a wall. I preach, but it feels like the words I say are empty, hollow.

Ever wish you could gouge out your soul and replace it? Ever feel like ripping your own skull apart and pull out your thoughts and put new ones in? I feel shrouded in darkness. I crave more than anything what I lost; someone. Someone to have. To love, and love me in return.

How long? How long God? How long until I find an answer? How long until a way is revealed? How long must I suffer until I'm deemed worthy of your light once more? Im searching and searching, but am getting nowhere. Nothing. Why?